Keeping it together through fear and uncertainty

There are two types of uncertainty; the one we always welcome, like starting a new relationship or a new job, which in some way foreshows good times and are manageable and predictable.

But there’s also the other type that presents us with an unpleasant situation we’re not familiar with and takes us outside of our comfort zone. We don’t feel secure anymore and start wondering how we will get through or if we could ever handle it.

We need certainty. It’s a fundamental human need that provides us with a feeling of security and safety. At the same time, uncertainty always involves fear of the unknown and the sense that we’re no longer in control of our lives.

Nevertheless, we can take charge of our actions and reactions to these situations. We feel the fear, but we discipline ourselves to look beyond it and focus on a positive outcome.

Like Nelson Mandela said, “Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it; the brave man is not he who doesn’t feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Whenever we’re faced with uncertainty, there are a few things to be mindful of so we can bring peace of mind to any chaotic situation:

. Trust ourselves. We’ve done it before; we’ve made it through all kinds of adversity, and we can make it through this one too.

. Tough times don’t last; tough people do. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger (except bears, of course, bears will kill us 😉). We may not feel strong at the time, but we will be wiser, stronger, and better equipped in the future.

. Things always work out, one way or the other. Sometimes, when we get to a roadblock, we feel disappointed when in reality, it was a detour to take us to an even better destination.

. Life goes on. There will come a time when we’d look back at that situation and wonder why did we worry so much in the first place.

. We can only grow outside our comfort zone. We need to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable so we can succeed and enjoy life.

. Everything looks clearer in retrospect. Once we’re able to look back, we’ll understand and appreciate the way things unfolded and even why.

Steve Jobs said it right, “you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking back, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

Uncertainty is a normal part of life, and we need to learn to see it that way.

It’s challenging to feel confident when we can’t see where we’re going and easy to perceive everything as a threat, but often, those uncertain times lead us to a brighter future.

The roads we know can only take us to places we’ve already been. If we’re willing to take risks and travel uncharted paths, we can open up a world of possibilities and opportunities, new beginnings that won’t happen if we cling to what we know.

Let’s take that chance; we’ll make it through, and, in the wonderful words of Alain de Botton, “feeling lost, crazy and desperate belongs to a good life as much as optimism, certainty, and reason.”

Stay strong!

One of the core values we have as a company is to inspire and empower people in all aspects of their lives. Additionally, if you want to read about our Custom Software Solutions and Consulting Services, please visit www.isucorp.ca, or book a meeting to review your software project.

Recondition Yourself for Success!

Did you know?

70% of smokers say they would like to quit but can’t.

92% of people fail at their New Year’s resolution within the first month.

85% of drug and alcohol addicts relapse after recovery.

95% of people who lose weight fail to keep it off long term.

98% of people die without fulfilling their dreams. 

People want to progress; they want to be and feel better.

The problem is they have developed characteristic patterns of thinking and behavior; they focus on the same images and ideas, and they keep asking themselves the same questions. They do want a new result, but they continue to act in the same way.

You have inside the necessary resources to change anything in your life. It’s just that you have a series of associations that usually prevent you from utilizing your full potential. These associations have their pathways already linked in your nervous system, making you react to situations in a certain way, which, in most cases, has nothing to do with the event itself.

If you want to get new results in your life, knowing your outcome and getting some leverage will not be enough. You can be motivated to change, but if you keep doing the same things and repeating the wrong patterns, your life will not change; all you’re going to get is more pain and frustration.

You need to change your approach.

Remember the old record albums? Those discs (we called them LPs back then) can consistently reproduce the same sounds because of the groove in which the sound is encoded. But what would if happen if you picked the record, took a needle, and scratched it back and forth several times?

The pattern encoded in the groove will indeed be deeply interrupted, and the record will never play the same way again.

Likewise, interrupting your limiting patterns of behavior or emotions can change your life.

Just like Marianne Williamson said, “you must learn a new way to think before you can learn a new way to be.”  

Three things must be in place for you to make these changes and make them last. They are the three fundamental steps of Neuro-Associative Conditioning:

1.      Get leverage on yourself. You need to make a decision and acknowledge that:

• Something MUST change.

• You MUST change it.

• You CAN change it.

2.      Interrupt your current pattern of association. You have to scratch the olf pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving by doing something weird, out of the ordinary in the way you talk or move your body (use ludicrous words instead of the harsh ones you say when you’re angry, for instance).

3.      Condition a new, empowering association. Install a new alternative, and work on its reinforcement until it’s conditioned. Like an out of tune piano, human behavior needs to be continuously reinforced until it becomes a habit. Piano tuners have to keep checking and adjusting the strings until they stay in tune –notice that we call the process ‘conditioning,’ which means that you’ll have to regularly check and reinforce the changes, so you don’t allow the option of getting back to the old way.

Always remember to link pleasure to your new alternative. Reward yourself emotionally each step of the way to accelerate the development of the new pattern.

Let’s continue this topic next week.
Until then, stay strong!

One of the core values we have as a company is to inspire and empower people in all aspects of their lives. Additionally, if you want to read about our Custom Software Solutions and Consulting Services, please visit www.isucorp.ca, or book a meeting to review your software project.

Your Peak State is the Key to Everything!

State is the most important aspect of personal development. You could dismiss every topic en every PD program available and only take State into practice, and you’ll still have the most powerful tool in the toolbox at your disposal.

But what is State? It’s the way you feel at any given moment, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Your edge in life depends 80% on your psychology, and the other 20% on the mechanics of habits. That is a force at work at all times, and it doesn’t care about what it does to you; it just works that way, like gravity… it can work to your advantage and amusement, or it can seriously hurt you; but hey, it’s not personal, it’s just the way it works.

But if you could take control of this force, by controlling your consistent emotions, you could begin to consciously and deliberately reshape your daily experience of life.

Living in a peak State is exhilarating, and life-changing, yet it’s still a rare condition for most people.

It doesn’t have to be the case for you.

How do you raise your life to this level then?

It will require first that you let go of the past, master your emotions, and adopt an excellence mindset.

Your emotions are the foundation that peak State is built upon. They have the power to control everything in our lives –mood, decisions, actions, you name it. If you want positive progress, you need positive emotions.

The Triad of Emotional Psychology

 To start creating a positive mindset, you need to understand first the Triad of Emotional Psychology and master the three forces that control your emotions: your physiology, your language, and your focus.

1. Your Physiology

This is the first component of the Triad. It refers to your body and all its systems.

The way you use your body affects how you feel mentally and emotionally. You must be aware of this connection: if you stand up straight, you’ll feel a sense of pride and alertness; if you slump over and neglect your body, you’ll start to feel down and negative –and consider what will happen if you get into the habit of doing any of these consistently…

The next time you find yourself in a certain mood, pay attention to your body and how you’re using it at that moment, and you’ll start to make the connection, and in no time you will start being able to change it as well.

You have the power to reset your State at will.

1. Your Focus

Wherever your focus goes, your energy will flow. What you put your focus on is where you’ll set your intention; consciously or unconsciously.

If you are driving on the highway and turn your head and your attention completely to your left –and hear me well, don’t try that; especially on the highway!- you will notice that your car will steer to the left; not by itself, of course, but by a combination of your focusing your attention to that direction and moving dominant parts of your body as well. This is why we know of so many cases of unconfident drivers crashing their car into the only tree or telephone pole in sight; they see it, begin to fear crashing into it, and they involuntarily steer right into it.

The same thing happens to you in other aspects.

Learning to set your focus on the positive things is one of the most essential steps toward achieving your peak State, and you will also start moving in the direction of the things you do want.

1. Your Language

This is the third component of the Triad. The way you speak –to yourself internally and out loud- determines how you operate in the world; especially the questions you ask.

Your brain is programmed to come up with an answer to whatever question is presented to it; so, if you were to ask “how come all these bad things happen to me?”, or “why is it that I can never make enough money?”, then your brain will come up with whatever answer could fit that question, and it doesn’t matter if it is real, it will match your current set of beliefs, and you’ll feel powerless as a result.

The way you talk to yourself will determine what emotions you feel, so choose your words and your tone wisely. You will still be talking to yourself internally; but instead of having a negative, judgmental character disapproving everything you do, you can have a coach showing you a better, most effective way to do things next time. You will benefit from the feedback, and you’d have learned something as well.

Reprogram your usual phrases through repetition, using what we call incantations. When you repeat a phrase with enough emotional intensity, you start to believe and embody it (just as with your lousy self-talk). Use the power of incantations by designing and using the ones that support you the most.

Let’s continue this topic next week.
Until then, stay strong!  

One of the core values we have as a company is to inspire and empower people in all aspects of their lives. Additionally, if you want to read about our Custom Software Solutions and Consulting Services, please visit www.isucorp.ca, or book a meeting to review your software project.