Imagine the feeling of walking away from a situation knowing you could’ve handled it better, the anxiousness and disappointment knowing there was more you could’ve done. Now imagine the sense of fulfillment knowing you did your best to handle a situation or conflict. Each scenario is on an entirely different end of the spectrum. Yet both results are born out of your ability to analyze what response a situation calls for.
Oftentimes when a negative result or situation presents itself, it is because the people involved are too emotionally invested. For this reason, a leader needs to be able to remove their emotions or feelings from the situation allowing them to detach and think critically. This concept can be confusing, of course, you want to be passionate about what you’re doing. Being overly invested however takes away from the ability to read a situation logically. For this reason, we must have the ability to detach and look at it from a neutral position.
An overly attached leader for example will have a tendency to micromanage, possibly lash out, and want control of everything and everyone. On the other hand, a detached leader will be able to respond to situations calmly, with the most beneficial outcome for the team in mind. The same concept applies at every level of an organization. Teams must be clear and concise in their communication, knowing what the goal is while also operating in the present.
Detachment does not mean uninterested, in this context it means living in the now and seeing a situation for what it truly is. If you are too attached to something, the end goal may cloud the opportunity for valuable input. It’s very common to be attached to an outcome, especially considering how fast-paced a business environment is. However, to get ahead, you have to plant your feet where you are. It is best to designate time where you can put aside planning for what's to come and focus on what you have to do.
Ultimately there can be long-term benefits and success to mastering the ability of detachment, this article shows how detachment from outcome can lead to stronger outcomes.
Here are some areas to focus on while you do this:
What Could Be Forgotten?
Sometimes focusing on the details of what’s to come or what could happen diverts attention away from what’s going on right now. This risks the proficiency of how something is done and wastes attention that should be spent doing it.
If you find yourself not able to focus on what’s in front of you because you are too attached to the outcome, take the time to make a list of what needs to be done right now. This method is actively detaching, it will outline the consequences of being too emotionally invested.
Situational Context
Particularly in a scenario where a conflict can arise between you and someone else, the natural response is to match the emotions expressed by the other person, or even overpower them. However, this will not solve anything and just make communication more difficult with this person in the future.
Instead, realize what’s going on with them, maybe they have a pressing situation they are not detached from. Here, it is useful to recognize their situation and remain calm, provide a rationale, and bring them back to a neutral headspace. Additionally, this will keep you level headed, prepared for further contingencies that could arise.
Remain Open-Minded About The Outcome
Having a fixed idea of the ideal outcome will narrow down your view if things don’t go exactly as planned. This is when you become too attached to the outcome and anything different feels like a failure.
Now it’s, by all means, good to have a vision for what you want, but being fixated on it may make you fail to see the benefits that come with different outcomes. For this reason, detaching from perfectionism will allow you and your team to work in a supportive and flexible environment.
Acknowledge Feedback Not Feelings
It is not unheard of to have to work with someone you don’t get along with or like, individuals can have differences that inhibit their ability to take feedback from each other. However, in a situation involving decision-making, a leader must detach from these feelings.
Your personal view of someone can hinder their credibility in your eyes. When this happens, we tend to write off their opinions. This can lead to leaving great ideas or insight on the table and hurt the efficiency of task completion. Detaching is important here, it allows you to stay neutral and commit to serving the needs of the team.
Conclusion
The hardest thing anyone can do is manage their emotions at all times, yet it is one of the most useful skills anyone can have. Detaching is exactly that, keeping your emotions under control and remaining neutral while finding optimal outcomes for everyone involved.
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