Standing Your Ground: Guide To An Effective “No”

Having plenty on the go at work gets overwhelming, unfortunately for someone with a people-pleasing character, they may not turn away further tasks. They end up accepting and the work continues to pile on. This can be frustrating and may seem like a dilemma between two people. However, not being able to say "no" is an internal conflict one faces with themselves. This kind of situation can be difficult to manage as it may feel like a moral obligation to accept. 

Yet, if someone has enough on the go then taking on more tasks will inhibit their ability to focus on the more pressing obligations. As a professional in the workplace, it is important to prioritize and execute tasks to create opportunities for more tasks. Additionally, a professional must recognize when it is necessary to detach from their people's pleasing tendencies. 

The goal is to balance the desire to please others with the responsibility of carrying out promises you make to yourself. Why this is important is because not fulfilling your promises will begin to impact your relationship with yourself. Of course in the position of an employee, you take the duties assigned and complete them to the best of your ability. Yet now you’re in an environment where you’re dealing with people, and unfortunately, some may not recognize the value of what you provide. 

This can lead to further requests with the expectation that there’s no issue for you if you don’t speak up. Now the situation causes you to deal with potentially unnecessary stress. Nonetheless, the moral obligations felt can cause us to just roll with it as a means of avoiding issues (which may not even be there in the first place). 

There is a dichotomy present here, as the fear of guilt from not taking on the extra requests can be met with the guilt of not fully tending to the original responsibilities. What’s also important to consider is that the scenario can have an authority figure making the requests. This makes just saying “no” ineffective and warrants negotiation. 

The idea of saying “no” in business is a lot more complex than it seems, so here are some ways you can actively stand your ground. 

Draw Your Boundaries 

At the end of the day, you’re a professional and your responsibilities remain a top priority. Now of course if someone brings something very pressing and requires action, tend to it. Essentially you want to use the prioritize and execute method with every situation you face at work. This makes identifying the issues which you can control automatic and then you can be efficient in your task completion. 

Provide Rationale

When that co-worker comes at you with something they’d “like your help on” but you’ve got deadlines, say exactly that. “Hey forward me the info and I’ll check it out when I'm done with my other projects”. Or if it is just something you can’t get to “I’d love to help, but the team has my full attention right now, count me in for the next one”. This very basic yet open form of communication demonstrates that you care and it also avoids added stress when you’re in the weeds. 

Find Alternatives

To ensure your “no” is effective, provide an alternate proposal as a means of making up for missing the task (if necessary). There are going to be situations where you may not be able to help the other person in time which is where rationale comes in. When you can help, negotiate meeting times that fit your schedule, essentially you want to help but only so much that it doesn’t derail you. If you can’t take on the full scope of what they’re asking, offer to complete maybe a portion of it.

This is especially important if the request is coming from an authority figure, additionally, it will reflect your empathy and competence for your work. 

Look For Help

As another form of compromise, if someone is looking for you to help them, see if they can help you in exchange. This creates a give-and-take relationship and bypasses negativity, especially if the person is willing to help you in some capacity that will free up your time. Additionally, if they have a reason they cannot help you then you just tell them they’ll have to wait. Re-adjusting and evaluating your position in situations like this are the key to mutually beneficial outcomes. 

Conclusion

Working in a team requires individuals to operate at the best level they can, it demands everyone pull their weight. Yet some situations may present opportunities to bite off more than you can chew. As a team member, it may be tempting to accept for fear of what the other person will think. However, these opportunities should never put someone in a position that may hinder the quality of their prior responsibilities.

This is why teams must follow the guidelines of prioritizing and executing, to make their effort yield the most optimal outcome for everyone. To do this, detach and evaluate when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.

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