If ever you’ve felt the crushing blow of disappointing or angering someone, you know that the interaction doesn’t end when the moment ends. The feeling can loom over you for a long time, lower your motivation, and impact your mood. Additionally, when this happens in a team setting, it can shake up communication and cause tension.
Negative feedback doesn’t only pertain to an internal team, a client for example might have a bone to pick with you. In this situation especially, how you react must be well thought out, emotions must be detached, and the situation will require careful analysis.
Now no matter the situation, there are always two ends, the receiver of negative feedback and the one giving it. For the one giving the feedback, answer the following: Is your emotional state in check? Is this feedback necessary? Who does this concern?
For the one receiving the feedback: What have I done to provoke this? What stakes does this person hold in the situation? Is my emotion in check? How can I prevent the situation from escalating?
This is a very complex dynamic, especially depending on the severity of the situation, a lot can be at stake. This is why taking inventory is crucial, analyzing the situation from both ends allows you to gain perspective and distance. It is critical to deal with these situations as you need to resolve the conflict. Not dealing with it is a whole other issue, without getting into how to avoid it.
With that being said, here are some things to consider:
Cool Off Period
Time should be taken to step back from the negative, consider it from the opposing perspectives and look at what you are going to do to prevent future negatives. It could be an hour, the rest of the day, just enough time to step back to compose yourself and your thoughts. This kind of ownership says a lot about your character and will demonstrate that you want to be better.
This is not to be mistaken with procrastinating the issue, you are simply taking time to collect yourselves. A cool-off period will also allow a leader who may not be in a good headspace to consider their actions. Ultimately, you are working towards a civil conversation with this person.
Clarification
The negative feedback can also be vague, when the recipient doesn’t know how to act on it, the feedback is useless. Ask questions about the feedback you’ve received, it’s one thing to look at it from your end, the critic, however, should have clearly defined areas that need improvement. You can begin to open the line of communication back up by doing so.
Don’t Attach To The Negative
When receiving negative feedback, it hurts our ego initially, yet we need to realize that the feedback is not personal. Someone else's opinion of you or something you’ve done does not reflect who you are as a person. Don’t let feedback hinder your confidence or derail your progression.
Conclusion
Being able to see the positivity in a negative situation is a very difficult thing to do and it’s only natural to feel down. It’s important here to reflect, take ownership of the role you’ve played in the situation and avoid the victim's mentality.
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